It was still dark when I woke up that Thursday morning. My ears filled with silence. I barely had slept the night before. I woke up earlier than usual with an extra kick, optimistic and excited about the day ahead. That day was one of the happiest days of my life: Our Graduation day!
While taking a bath, my bathroom turned into a recording booth as I relaxed myself listening and trying all my best to blend my voice with Yeng Constantino. I wore my red long sleeve bought in SM department store, fixed my hair with a generous amount of Gatsby wax, and sprayed on my Jovan White Musk.
PICC here I come.
I came early as expected. I’m too conscious about time with thought of “Living in Valenzuela is a nightmare traffics here are terrible worsen by road repairs” In my four years in College that’s my thinking: to leave home one hour before the time.
Oh wait that’s because I’m attending class in Caloocan, probably just couple of kilometers away from Valenzuela. And in this case Valenzuela to Pasay? I don’t know perhaps two hours is enough. 9:00 am is the start of the program but as usual we our required to arrive in the venue thirty minutes before the time.
I got to the venue 7:00 am. Yeah, I know too early. It’s just that I am excited or nervous or whatever all I’m thinking that moment was “Ang aga pa pala nakakahiya”
In the program we heard inspirational speeches from people I can’t remember by now but I believed they are successful and famous in their field too bad I didn’t pay attention because my mind fly away with butterfly. I’m hungry throughout the program.
Finally! Hours of wait are over. We are about to get up and show everyone the fruit of our four years pain in college, I mean enjoyment in college. Our college secretary calls the candidate for graduation, I heard my name; it’s the sweetest sound- it’s stuck in my ears buzzes like a catchy song. I now have a degree under my belt. Naks
School boy no more- I don’t have to stay up at night to finish school works to meet deadlines, don’t have to wake up early and worry about exams. No more fighting with classmates over silly reasons. Sure, I am free like a bird.
And now here comes the hard part: Leaving your school which served as your home for four years. Suddenly I found myself watches life go by like a computer slideshow. The so-called culture shocked effect, my first serious romantic relationship, first heartbroken, first crush in college (until now), our jamming session in rehas, M.Y, Chicago grill, bestfriends. Our days whenever classes were suspended I was the happiest person back then. I miss how I get wild whenever I played dota in JCI, still craving for doreen’s Mexican footlong, Danilo’s famous sisig, Siomai house that taste like paper good thing they now offer more chili so it covers up the taste. Oh before I forget thank you Aphie for introducing DianZone it adds choices on where to eat and became instant favorite of warriors. (malamig dun pramis) I miss lady gagard who never changes facial expression seems always angry to the world and the students is her outlet of emotion. Hayyy In short I miss the old times.
It’s amazing how life passes by day by day like nothings really change but when you look back and reminisce things you will notice the difference of how simple yesterday was.
When I was young growing up, I was very ambitious child. Like in grade 1 I want to be a doctor but I realized I’m afraid of blood. In grade 2 I want to be a lawyer but the thought of crimes and killings makes me switch my mind. In grade 3 a teacher- oh I’m not that gifted with long patience. In grade 4 a basketball player- well can’t be coz’ I’m too short and I have a thin frame. In grade 5, being a celebrity is cool- Oh wait I’m too shy of a person. In grade 6 I couldn’t think of any other cool profession so I looked to my classmates’ slum book and told myself I want to be all the ambitions they listed in there.
I’m twenty years old now yet I’m still having trouble to decide what I want to be and what path best suit my qualification. I believe we all have purpose why we are here, we are alive for reasons, and we have a role to play in the world. That’s piece of cliché keeps me holding on to my dreams, even if I’m not sure what really my dreams are. Pessimism starts to bother me: 100 days after graduation is critical I don’t know how many days I’ve wasted or even how many days left for me. Damn but despite negativity I’m still stubborn to reach my goal.
I believe there’s never too late or too early to know what our role is. All that matter is you know exactly what your role and strive to fulfill and exceed that role to the best of your ability. If that means being a doctor then you should not be afraid of blood. If that means being a lawyer then you should not be frighten of injustices. If that means being a teacher then you should patiently teach your students. If that means being a basketball player then even if you are the shortest make up to it with hard work. If that means being a celebrity then you should not be shy entertaining fans. If you haven’t figured out yourself in twenty years of existence well don’t be disheartened you are not alone.
Most of us went to college just for a degree. No degree means: no plum job, no credit cards, no social status, no pretty wife. We are so focused on a goal, whether it be passing a test or to graduate as top in the class. However, in this way, we do not really learn. We just do whatever it takes to achieve our original objective. Wait before you raise your eye brow, please allow me to explain. “If you top the exam, didn’t you learn something?” Of course you learned something, you only learned to memorized names, places, dates and later on forget in order to clear your mind for the next test. Okay then is that consider as learning? If you got good grades over your classmates it doesn’t equate that you are more intelligent than them, it’s just an implication that you are only best at doing what this system told you to do so. You saw every subject of study as work and you excelled at every subject just for the purpose of excelling, not learning. Congrats you did what is asked to the extreme. Who would forget Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg? They are all college dropouts who made us think that perhaps the time we stayed sitting in classroom are better spent elsewhere.
Don’t get me wrong people, I love school. (dun ko nakikita ang crush ko) I have nothing against grade conscious students’ coz’ I was once one of them. What I’m trying to say is that our motivational force should be passion, enjoyment in learning not competition with one another but this is lost because of the system that trains us, rather than inspires us. They treat students as robot to blurt out facts from the book and be a complete android always armed with dictionary. We have minds for innovation not for memorization. We are not in college just for a degree, to then get a job, so then large corporation and abusive government treat us again as robot.
In a country where they emphasize and put more value on grades and not on attitude, finding a job gets tougher especially to those who graduated without honor even to those from not so good school. Yeah we can’t blame the system. Numbers don’t lie but please it doesn’t tell the whole story.
For young people and fresh grad having trouble to get their dream job, don’t be too hard to yourselves. It’s not that we are not capable of doing what we dream to do. It’s not that we are not needed in the job we wanted. It’s not that we are not competent to the job. Maybe it’s not yet our time.
Sure we graduated as an average student and we don’t have brilliant TOR to brag about. We’re young, inexperience, too aggressive but that should work to our advantage we have more to prove. That’s our edge. JAdG twitter.com/awesomealvin028